Saturday, November 17, 2007

Deception Is Reality

Anyone with access to Google can ascertain the facts regarding Louisiana Presbytery and the PCA with three clicks of the mouse. And just as easily you can obtain any number of opinions about the LAP case with as many clicks of the mouse as your index finger can tolerate. This brings us to poor Jon Barlow, who has lived happily in the land of DUMB for many years. Of course, DUMB stands for “Doug’s Universe of Make Believe,” which is a very real alternative universe to our own that is populated by countless monkey boys and their offspring whose sole purpose in life is to pay homage to their king — Douglas Wilson.

Unfortunately, most of the inhabitants of DUMB don’t know that only one physical law governs their universe — i.e., deception is reality — for without deception DUMB would spin wildly out of control into the blackness of darkness forever and all of its inhabitants would perish hopelessly in oblivion, having no reason to live. Consequently, the King of DUMB maintains the law of his universe with the utmost fidelity, regularly deceiving his citizens to insure that their lives remain happily uninterrupted. Indeed, the King of DUMB loves to deceive because he knows it brings such joy to his citizens.

Case in point: Steve Wilkins and the PCA. For months the King of DUMB has maintained consistently that the SJC has unlawfully tried Steve Wilkins without charges, testimony, witnesses, evidence, or process. To be sure, King Doug has described in vivid detail the evil doings of wicked men in the PCA who have conspired in the Back Room to pull all the levers hidden beneath their desks to screw Steve Wilkins to the uttermost. Indeed, King Doug believes that the PCA has violated so many principles of presbyterian polity that he recently declared, “Steve Wilkins is today’s Machen,” which is a stretch even for King Doug’s mentally ill imagination.

Making matters worse, many of King Doug’s court jesters have helped maintain DUMB’s solitary physical law by telling a few tall tales of their own. For example, Jeffrey Braveheart Meyers has deceived his followers into believing that the PCA instituted a Star Chamber and an Inquisition to torture confessions from PCA ministers who hold the Federal Vision. Pastor Braveheart even bore witness that the Inquisitors were ripping out the ecclesiastical entrails of certain Federal Visionists. It was really quite frightening, which brings us back to poor Jon.

Yesterday poor Jon wandered outside of DUMB’s borders to post a comment on Green Baggins in defense of the Federal Vision champion Steven Machen Wilkins. But poor Jon didn’t have his facts straight because he learned them from King Doug and his court jesters. So poor Jon, thinking that the PCA Inquisitors would soon draw and quarter Steven Machen Wilkins in the town square, mustered the courage to post a comment on Green Baggins, far away from the land of DUMB, hoping to alert the non-citizens of DUMB to this awful miscarriage of justice. He wrote,

Wilkins was never on trial, was he? I thought the LA Presbytery was conducting an inquiry to see if there was any good reason to put him on trial. A trial would consist of evidences, charges, prosecution, witnesses, etc. Correct me if I’m wrong on that. I thought, in essence, that someone asked LA Presbytery to look into Wilkins. They conducted a friendly inquiry and said he was okay. Someone objected, the SJC said that the presbytery was lax procedurally, so they redid it with the proper procedure but came to a conclusion that was unacceptable both to the SJC and to a few LA Presbytery people. If Wilkins was on trial, can someone point me to the charges and the transcript of the witnesses, etc.?

Of course, Steven Machen Wilkins is not on trial and he never has been on trial, which probably explains why the post that generated poor Jon’s comment never states, hints, implies, or suggests that Steven Machen Wilkins was ever on trial. In fact, no one is on trial, not even Louisiana Presbytery, and anyone with access to Google should know this because the official record is posted all over the web. It states:

Amends — Pursuant to BCO 40-5 the Standing Judicial Commission hereby cites Louisiana Presbytery to appear “to show what it has done or failed to do in the case in question.” To implement this process, RE Samuel J. Duncan is hereby appointed to: a) serve as prosecutor in this matter and conduct the case, which is designated as Case 2007-14; b) select Assistant Prosecutors from members of the General Assembly to assist him with this matter; c) draw an indictment to be served upon Louisiana Presbytery, with the circumstances and specifications therein not being limited to those raised in 2006-02 and 2007-8; d) prepare a citation instructing Louisiana Presbytery to respond, in writing or at a called meeting of the Standing Judicial Commission, to the indictment and to enter its plea to the matters contained therein not later than February 1, 2008. (BCO 40-6, 31-2, 32-3) If Louisiana Presbytery enters a plea of “not guilty,” then Louisiana Presbytery is directed to appear, through its representatives, for trial in this matter before the Standing Judicial Commission on March 5, 2008 (BCO 40-5, 40-6, 31-2, 32-3).

But the citizens of DUMB, such as poor Jon Barlow, don’t understand the record because it contradicts the utterances of their King, whose word is never wrong and whose decrees fail not. After all, he’s the King. Unfortunately, this leaves these sad souls in a constant state of confusion because they cannot reconcile their King’s word, which is grounded in fantasy, with the truth, which governs the real universe.

So I want to encourage poor Jon and his fellow citizens to abandon the land of DUMB and to join the rest of us who live in the real universe. This will require a good amount of humility and a greater amount of repentance, though this is a small price to possess your souls.

However, if they don’t forsake their wicked king and his evil empire, then they may take comfort knowing that that the God of all truth has arranged to preserve the land of DUMB and all its inhabitants in their preferred state of deception for all eternity, because Scripture says, “For this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth” (2 Thess. 2:10–12). And at that time deception shall be reality for those lost souls for ever and ever, amen.

Thank you.